Just realised how fragile a human can be.
Can't believe how one can be shaken up and literally felt heart ache even when woken up.

Perhaps its because one tries to push away some facts of reality and the subconsious mind actually act up to remind me.
I would like to see how strong a person actually is.
Or should I say, its a good chance to test myself.
The dream just showed me how I would feel cos I felt it.
It showed me how I will act in the situation. (which is damn true. damn ME. )

It just would not go away.
But I thought I'm well prepared?

The scene acted and re-acted and re-acted and focus and repeat, repeated, and kept repeating in my mind.
Its gonna come true VERY SOON. VERY.
I had a strong feeling about it.
It is so god damn strong.
So strong that it sucks. I rejected the idea of how I would feel.
Its coming.

I'm prepared. But I'm scared.
Is anyone, ANYONE gonna be with me when that happens?
I'm really scared cos its not within my control.
It never was in the first place.
Can anyone understand this?
Would anyone stay by my side?

Breaking down is one thing. Changing the way things would be is another.
Thats the dilemma of life.
Nothing would have a end if the things don't progress.
But why wanna progress when things is obviously NOT going to be positive?
Ain now good?

What would YOU choose?
To stay stagnant? or to progress be it good or bad?

Some things, are fine when you hear about it and laugh together.
When you actually witness that with your own eyes, its a DIFFERENT case.
Thats what my dream is trying to tell me.
And my 'intelligent' mind, actually let me know and let me feel exactly whats gonna happen.

I'm not a believer in dreams.
I don't really bother to interpret it, don't really bother to think would it'll actually come true.
But this is a different case.
After so long, I dreamt of something so strong that it broke my heart and still feeling it now.

Don't get me wrong.
I'm still a very happy and contented girl.
For now.
Till the 'prophecy ' comes true.

esther was here at 12:46 AM